Staying On Track

Re-inventing myself is hard work, not to mention expensive. I may not seem to move at the same breakneck speed as I did when I started, but my days are full with a flurry of activities and I have managed to settle into a semblance of a regular pattern. But I refuse to fall into the trap of regularity because there is always the danger of becoming complacent. And I cannot afford complacency when I am trying to re-invent the rest of my life.

I have been spending a lot of time with Grant and the novelty of him has not worn off, not that I expect it to anytime soon. In my last relationship, I'm used to being told what I am supposed to do and it has become a sort of a game to see who wins in the battle of wills. With Grant it's easy, no games, just straightforward goofiness and a lot of fun. His charm is quite endearing and I am absolutley in love with him. Too soon? Maybe, but I have not resisted a good thing when I recognized it.

I have been a little busy with my art lately, with the New York exhibit coming up, and it has detracted from my time with this blog. I also had some technical issues in the past couple of weeks, but I should be back on a regular daily schedule for my blog. This is important to me. It is a chronicle of my quest to re-invent myself and the rest of my life. I am on this journey and will be for a while.

Re-inventing myself is not just about trying new things, but adopting a whole new attitude. I look at my New York watercolor and it serves as a constant reminder of what this is all about. Because that is when it started, an epiphany, a realization that profoundly changed my view about myself and how I want to live the rest of my life.

I am still on track and I'm staying on track.

Tomorrow Is Not Promised

I seem to be getting a lot of emails with a common theme -- "life is short". Is it a portent of things to come? I don't need a reminder, I am a walking, talking reminder.

I am in complete remission right now, no evidence of new cancerous growth. There are questions on a couple of areas, but there is no use stressing about those until we know for sure that there is a problem.

I don't mean to be dark and foreboding in my blogs. And I certainly did not mean to alarm my friends with the life is short theme. I am not dying -- yet.

Tomorrow is not promised. C'est la vie!

I Hope You Dance

This was written by an 83-year-old woman to her friend.

Dear Bertha,

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.

I'm guessing; I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

The Paradox

By George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computer s to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small characters, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

SAVE THE WHALES II

Saturday's headline in LA Times reads: "Bush sides with Navy in sonar battle. He cites national security in aiming to override a judge's injunction aimed at protecting marine mammals off Southern California. An environmental group promises to fight his move."

For the full story, please go to http://www.latimes.com/news/science/environment/la-me-sonar17jan17,1,2954015.story?coll=la-news-environment.

President Bush on Wednesday moved to exempt Navy sonar training missions off Southern California from complying with key environmental laws, an effort designed to free the military from court-ordered restrictions aimed at protecting whales and dolphins. The president's directive was designed to short-circuit a long-running battle in which environmental groups have won court victories that frustrated the Navy's preparations for nine training missions over the next year, the first one set to begin next week.

The battle pits concerns over injuries to marine mammals against troop readiness and national security. But with Bush's latest action, it took on overtones of a struggle between the administrative and judicial branches of government. A U.S. District Judge who ordered the restrictions has called the Navy's plans "grossly inadequate to protect marine mammals from debilitating levels of sonar exposure." By contrast, the Navy asserts that it's already doing enough to safeguard marine mammals from harmful effects of the mid-frequency active sonar it uses to hunt for quiet diesel-electric submarines now operated by Iran, North Korea and dozens of other countries. In a memo justifying his action, Bush did not address environmental concerns. He said his decision would "enable the Navy to train effectively" for activities "which are essential to national security" and "in the paramount interest of the United States." Bush's action was "an end-run" around the nation's environmental laws.

SAVE THE WHALES

In the past year, carcasses of migrating whales have been washing up in the California coast. There are no physical signs of injury and this has lent credence to the argument that sonar used by the military interferes with the whales' internal navigation system. A federal judge ordered a ban on military testing in California waters. But a couple of days ago, the President of the United States no less, has vetoed the order and lifted the ban on the use of sonar in the "interest of national security".

I always say, leave the "politicking" to the politicians. But when it comes to endangering the environment, I tend to get on my high horse. Especially if the marine mammals are threatened.

After months of inquiry, a visit to Navy ships and analysis of scientific literature, a federal judge deemed measures were needed to safeguard whales from the potentially debilitating effect of the powerful sound waves.

The Navy have asked to temporarily set aside the two they considered the most intrusive: requirements to shut down sonar if a marine mammal ventures within 2,200 yards of a sonar device, and to reduce sonar power under certain sea conditions that allow powerful sonar blasts to travel farther than normal.

National security my ass!!!! The Navy considers the ban intrusive? Let see here, the ocean is home to the whales and thousands of other marine life. So who is intruding where? Since when has it been an "either or" proposition? It is the responsibility of every nation to protect the environment and the creatures that inhabit the earth. The United States, as one of the super powers, should take the lead. Instead, our leaders hide behind the broad excuse for national security. Fear and ignorance are in the halls of the White House. The terrorists are out to get us so let's shoot randomly until we hit something. Never mind if we kill the whales in the process.

It is easy for me, I have the luxury of sitting comfortably and criticizing the actions of the powers-that-be. But the leaders we elect into office have the moral responsibility to protect and serve. There is no easy way out and the preservation and protection of the environment cannot be compromised. I am all for national security. Hell, I will shoot those bastards myself if I can. But our leaders need to get a firm grasp of the consequences of endangering the environment.

We have the ability to preserve and save. Let's save the whales. Let's save the earth in the process.

The Lady and The Duke

Oh no! First, his and hers bikes. Now his and hers dogs?!

Meet Lady, Duke's new friend. We share the same birthday, October 29. Cool, huh?

The "Maiden Voyage"

Coco Loco, my new bike, made its "maiden voyage" last weekend. Grant and I went to Venice Beach and rode the bikes all the way up to Santa Monica pier. It was a perfect day, 80-degree weather, no breeze, at least on shore. It was a shorts & tank weather and I felt almost sorry to the poor sap back east who has to shovel snow on his driveway. Oh well...

The good news is, I didn't fall off the bike this time. There were a couple of instances when I almost fell while holding the bike up. Thank goodness Grant wasn't looking. Otherwise, I will never hear the end of it.

As we were pedalling on the bike path, I looked at all the sailboats out on this gorgeous day on Santa Monica Bay. If not for a twist of fate, I would have been out there on a sailboat with a different guy. It's a different life, a different lifestyle, a different partner. But I looked out the harbor with a wistful longing, a nostalgia, for a different life in the not too distant past, standing in close proximity with my present and possible future. I shouldn't have come to Venice beach. I am moving forward, but I'm still haunted by memories from a different life.

Coco Loco

That's my new bike, Coco Loco. There is a coconut drink with an umbrella, I think it's a Pinacolada. How appropriate! This is one of my Christmas presents from Grant.

Grant, Duke and I rode our new cruisers around Huntington Beach. Duke hitched a ride and sat in the wicker basket in front of my bike. It was really cool, until I fell off my bike. Yikes!! Yes, I fell off my bike!

I think it was Duke's weight in front that threw me off. That and he stood up and I was a little distracted at the idea that he was going to jump off. I can't really tell how it happened, but I fell off my bike!! And the knee that I hurt when I fell the other week? I hurt it again. I also have a couple more scrapes. Ouch!

The last time I fell off a bike was ages ago, when I was 7 years old, and I had training wheels that time. I can't remember the details, but I remember being pulled up from a gutter or a shallow canal, whatever it was. What can I say? I was adventurous, even as a kid, and I wandered off further than I should. My nanny got into so much trouble that day. I wasn't allowed to play outside the house for days.

But really, I am well-coordinated, better than most. I don't just fall and I certainly don't have flat feet. So this business of losing my balance and falling is baffling to me. Maybe it's the shoes, I'm just not used to those tennis shoes. See, I'm shortand I like wearing high heels to give me the extra height. I've gone dancing in 4-inch heels and you don't see me falling on my face. So when I wear flats, it feels funny and I walk funny. Maybe that's it. Darn it! I can't wear high heels on a bike!

Grant has a couple of bitching mountain bikes and a couple of motorcycles. But he bought a cruiser, "Rockabilly Boogy", so I could keep up in my wimpy Coco Loco cruiser. You can only go so fast in those things, but they are really comfortable. We are getting a bike rack to mount on the car today, so we can drive anywhere and take our little cruisers. We're planning to drive to San Diego this weekend for Grant's business conference, and we'll take the cruisers, of course.

I'll try to stay on the bike this time.

The Dukester

Meet Duke, Grant's little Maltese, the source of my inspiration for my latest artwork. How do you paint a pure white dog? Here's how: just do it in black and white.

Duke is a little darling. The first time I met him, I was smitten. Duke was a little fresh, he tried to cop a feel when I reached down to pet him. And when I sat down on the couch, he tried to nuzzle under my skirt. Incorrigible dog! But only a canine as cute and charming as Duke is can get away with that kind of brash behavior.

And Duke thinks he is a person. He would stand on his hind legs and he would sit pretty, a trick Grant taught him as a puppy. He has a lot of personality, Duke I mean. Although I could say the same for Grant, too. Hee! But this blog is about Duke so I will talk about Grant in a separate blog entry.

So back to Duke. Like I said, he thinks he's a person. He would sleep on his back with paws up in the air. And he loves to sleep on my chest. When I wake up, he would nuzzle closer to me. One morning, he was still asleep when I woke up. I wanted to capture the comical yet endearing image of him sleeping. It took a couple of weeks before I figured out how. So cute!!

I love taking Duke with me when I run errands. He loves to sit on my lap in the car. He also loves to stick his head out the window while I drive. Duke makes friends wherever he goes. He is Mr. Personality. I was even able to take him into one kickboxing class. But he has to sit inside an over sized tote bag, and sit he did. He was such a good boy, sat in my bag for an hour.
And the best part of all, I discovered that I am not allergic to certain types of dogs! I love dogs but could never have one because of a stupid allergy. Imagine that! And so it goes, I have this 7-lb. Maltese attached to me. And I absolutely adore him. Grant thinks I spoil him too much. Oh well!

New Year's Eve at Sabrina's

What better excuse is there to drink than New Year's Eve? I polished off a whole bottle of champagne all to myself and you could tell by how red my face got. Whew! My friend Sabrina threw a hell of a party. I wish I took more pictures, but I was busy drinking! Salut!

Happy New Year!!!!